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Finding Freedom: One Survivor’s Story Part 4

24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline: 208.343.7025 24-hour Rape Crisis Hotline: 208.345.7273 (RAPE)

 

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After leaving my abusive relationship, I wasn’t sure what was next or how I was supposed to be. I asked myself “When will I be okay?” and “Where will I be in a year from now?”  I learned shortly after leaving these are very normal thoughts to have after being isolated, manipulated and made to think you are unable to do anything without your abuser. I decided that I would continue to build my support system. I would continue go to therapy and talk with other survivors. I would continue read books on how to move on from an abusive relationship. I would simply just learn how to “be” and “do” without anxiety, tension, and tears.

Eight months have gone by since I left my abusive relationship and my life appears to be somewhat normal. I go to work 40 hours a week. I raise and take care of my boys, and my dog. I have evenings and weekends that are full of joy, laughter and happiness. Of course, this includes the frequent sibling fights and mom yelling at the kids to be nice, to share with one another. The day to day is still there like any other day, even when we were living with my abuser. The difference is he is not there telling me what to do, or how to do it. No one is expecting me to have the house clean and dinner on the table. No one is putting down my ideas and thoughts. No one is asking me “Why you are wearing that outfit?” No one is asking me where I am going, why, and with whom.

The point to this story is that life after an abusive relationship can be slow, daunting, boring, and unknown. However, it will become empowering, freeing, exciting and full of happiness. You will find appreciation for things you forgot that existed, and you will be grateful for your life. However, like anything else, there are bad days too. It can feel hopeless. There will be sadness. You will be angry. And you will have days that are just silent and you don’t know how to feel. All of these emotions are real, and they are okay, and normal. I have felt all of these emotions over and over in the last eight months. Yet, I have chosen not to let my experience define me, or to hold me back from finding my new happy, following my dreams and passions or what new things I want to do.

What happened to me and my kids was wrong, traumatic and not something I ever want to relive. However, I have learned a lot from this experience: how to respect myself, how to love myself, and how to care for myself. And in learning these things I discovered myself.

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EVENTS

Jul 11

2022

WCA Mission Tour

Join us for a 35 minute virtual tour to learn about our mission of safety, healing and freedom through the stories of clients and the impact of our services. The WCA Mission Tour aims to inspire and educate about the complexities and realities of domestic abuse and sexual assault, both here in the Treasure Valley […]

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Jul 28

2022

WCA Mission Tour

Join us for a 35 minute virtual tour to learn about our mission of safety, healing and freedom through the stories of clients and the impact of our services. The WCA Mission Tour aims to inspire and educate about the complexities and realities of domestic abuse and sexual assault, both here in the Treasure Valley […]

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Oct 02

2022

SueB 5k 10k 2022

On October 2, 2022, we celebrate the 13th annual SueB 5k 10k at noon After two years of racing virtually, we invite you to join us IN PERSON to raise awareness about domestic abuse, while memorializing the life of an individual who has brought so many people together. The SueB 5k 10k provides a space […]

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Oct 12

2022

Witches Night Out at the Village

Mark your calendars for Witches Night Out on October 12, 2022 from 5 – 9 p.m. Wednesday, October 12 we will be celebrating Witches Night Out at The Village at Meridian, hosted by Meridian’s Centercal Properties and its marvelous merchants. Several sponsors help make the evening a resounding success, raising funds for the WCA’ clients’ […]

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Oct 28

2022

Healing Begins with Hope

WCA Healing Begins with Hope Virtual Outreach and Fundraising Event When: October 28, 2022 As the WCA celebrates 112 years of changing lives, we would like to invite our community to mark their calendars and save the date! The event will be an opportunity to learn more about the WCA’s mission of safety, healing and […]

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